01/20/2010 - My Preemies

Ahh. We are nearing my son's first birthday. It's a time of reflection for me. I can't believe that one year ago I gave birth to my second preemie. He was much bigger, of course, than Addalynn. He was my "hefty preemie", weighing in at 5lbs 12oz at 33w6d gestation.

Both my babies are big enough now that we don't get the questions like "Aww, how old is she? OH! She must have been a preemie. How much did she weigh?" and so forth. I was always proud to share that information because I was thankful that she came out of it healthy, but it kept the memories of the NICU fresh in my mind. I wanted out of that place for good.

I still haven't gotten out. I keep it tucked away but I can still hear the distant beeps and dings of the alarms in the NICU and the quiet "sshhhh" of oxygen flowing. I can still hear the whimpers of restless preemies and the cries of the grumpy ones during diaper changes. I can still the the nurses' faces welcoming me each day and I think more than anything I can remember the smell of the NICU. Of course, I'll never forget the sinks at the entrance that I used to wash my hands daily.

I guess I will never forget the NICU. It's something all preemie moms keep in their hearts and minds. It takes a special kind of mom to live the NICU life. We are Preemie Veterans!

I hope that soon I can do something to help other preemie moms even if it's just small gifts like the ones we received. I still cover up with a blanket I was given when Addalynn was in the NICU. Kody and Addalynn both use blankets that were given to them as well. I still have knitted hats and other gifts as well as the Christmas stocking and presents given to Addy by Santa himself after her birth. I want to give something to a preemie mom to help them get through or even just smile.